Finally Jim and I

I've already posted most of our wedding photos so there won't be many.

As soon as we moved here I bought those California
girl shoes. We went to visit Ports O' Call. It was
a lot of fun. Yep I had a perm, the only one I've ever
had. Or ever will.
Me pregnant with Sami
moved to Lake Isabella for the first time. (yes I would have been 19 here. Just married and just we've lived here twice)

We lived an hour from Seaside Or. The water was freezing and there were sharks!

We rode the quads almost every weekend. Yep even in the snow. I didn't take mine outa lot in the snow because it wasn't 4-wheel drive. Jim and I just days before we got hitched

We had been married 4 months. Jim was 21.

Jimi was 1 month old when Jim got a huge

opportunity to work for the phone company in

Portland. He moved first and we moved with him

a month later. We started out in Vancouver WA.

I loved it.

Jim right after Jimi was born. Almost 22.

Randy, Patty, Jim and I won a jackpot
in a place in Colorado, Central City. I know, we
are so bad. I was barely 21.
Trying out the timer on a new camera. I was
24, Jim was 26. Yep almost 10 years ago.

Mothers Day

I'm not a big "Mothers Day" fan. I guess I don't see the big deal about making a big deal about mom one day a year. Maybe because even on Mothers day we are still busy being moms to even notice. I hope that my mom knows that I cherish her EVERY day of the year, and that even though I call on Mothers day the other calls through out the year are probably more special because I do it because I want to hear her voice or get her advice or comfort, not because of the day of the year that says I should.

Mothers Day 1997

Alex 2, Jimi 2 months

Sunday mornings aren't usually fun at our house. I try really hard to make sure everyone has their cloths laid out and shoes and showered so there isn't a fight for the bathroom or a fight over shoes or black socks. And I choose my shoes first and if I can't find something to wear with them it ruins my day so I make sure I have it all together the night before. Saturday was extra busy so this didn't get done. Every Sunday Sami gives me fits getting ready for church. This week both girls wanted to match what I wore. I had a jean skirt on and the search was on for them to find the one that looks most like mine. Jimi found it first, probably because it's hers, but Sami flipped out and refused to wear anything else. I HATE being late and so I told her I wasn't dealing with her and if she wasn't ready on time then we would leave her.

So sitting in Sacrament meeting, one child short. (yes we DID leave her! Uncle Kenny was home in case of an emergency, I hope she learned her lesson) The young women and young men of the church were to get up and say why they loved their moms. Jimi was very first up at the stand. She had hers written out and said how she loved that I cooked dinner and cleaned and did dishes and laundry and drove her everywhere. She said something about being a good example and knowing that I loved her no matter what. It was very sweet. All the other girls went, they were good too, about the same Except Toni. She said a lot of the same things Jimi and the other girls said but then she said she was so proud of her mom for standing up for her religion and bearing her testimony to her dad. It's what convinced him to really read the Book of Mormon which lead to him becoming a member. It was neat. Then the boys get their turn. Alex didn't go up on the stand when we got there, he didn't even know what they were doing but ran up last minute. So he stands up and leans over the podium and says "well I don't have a cheat sheet so this comes straight from my heart" then the boy looks straight at me and says how much he loves me and how I am his personal chauffeur but instead of him paying me I pay him will my eternal unconditional love, all the chores I do and how he knows I'm always in his corner. I don't know what it is about an almost 15 year old boy telling that to his mom but he made me mushy. They passed out chocolate to all the moms. Much better than the usual flower. And a bookmark with a nice quote about mothers. Going through old pictures I found some of the reasons I love being a mother to my kids.
Alex 2, with Jimi about a week old. He loved his sissy and took really great care of her. After having her I realized that the fear of not loving your second child as much as the first was just crazy. I learned the capacity of a heart to love.

Alex 4, Jimi 2, holding Sami about 2 days old. They loved their baby sister. Again, even with baby 3 my heart grew bigger and loved deeper than I thought it could.

Jimi 4, Sami 2 and still no hair. I loved the sisterly bond my girls shared.

A Hurley family portrait.

Jimi 3, Trever 3 days old. It was scary for the older kids but they instantly loved their baby brother even if they couldn't hold him or bring him home.

The first time Jim got to hold Trever, and give him his first football.

The day we brought Trever home and had our family complete. I can even see the pure happy glow that the kids have and the love they have for each other. I should show this to them now and remind them that they did like each other at one time. (isn't Sami a doll?)

Mommies little monsters!

When we got home Sami had cleaned the living room and has her church cloths out for next week. (YES! A good parenting decision) Jimi helped me make dinner, and did dishes. We had a nice talk while doing this. We don't get a lot of chances to have nice little talks without one of us having an attitude. We had one with her friend Destiny the day before, it got pretty deep and when Jim mentioned how nice it was to hear us chatting Jimi made sure he knew about the depth of the conversation the day before. Jim bought Trever a small game trap at the swap meet the day before so he spent most of the day trying to trap something, anything really. I think he's hoping for a big rat. He took his bow out for awhile and tried hunting something. I hope it wasn't going to be my mothers day gift. Thank goodness he didn't get anything. About 10:00pm Alex remembers that he has to have a report typed out. Luckily he had it written already so I quickly typed it up for him and sent him to bed. Overall it was a good normal day. I love the crazy chaotic, joyfully painful job of being a mother. I want to be better at it. Nothing has ever terrified me more than having kids, and now one that will be going to high school and driving in 370 days. I never imagined the battles I would have ahead of me. Things I would NEVER normally fight for if it were for myself, but will fight till my death for my kids. I remember when Alex was maybe a week old and I was up feeding him at 3am. I remember bursting into tears and asking God what I did to deserve something so wonderful and special. How my heart was capable of so much love. I remember thanking God for my mom who must feel the same love for me. I never knew how much my parents loved me until I had kids of my own. And when Jimi, then Sami, and yes even Trever came along I was shocked all over again, like it was the first time of feeling that much love. I'm still amazed of the capabilities of the hearts ability to love. I guess that's really what being a moms about though. Growing up I didn't want kids. I didn't like to babysit. I wanted to be a cardiac surgeon. My mom made being a mother look easy, I admire how she did that because I wasn't an easy child. I love being a mom and I'm glad that I met Jim who changed my mind on being a wife and a mother. God definitely has a plan, Jims mom may not agree but God had to make him as stubborn as he is so that he could put up with me! I know I have a lot more pain and suffering to go through, probably my whole life, over my kids but I think it's like that song "the Dance" I can deal with all the pain just for those joyful times of seeing them succeed and be happy. A friend of mine said sometimes she wished she could stop them from growing but then also wants to see how they turn out. I couldn't agree more. There are days I want to stop them right there, but I also want to see them grow and become their own person. It's scary! I will continue spending a lot of time kneeling in prayer for the sake of my kids. Hey Alex, Jimi, Sami and Trever, I love you to the moon and back! I'll love you for eternity and couldn't be happier that we're sealed so I can. I want you to read this after you have your first child and realize that your old mom feels the same way about you that you do about that baby your holding in your arms. And if you ask Nana, I bet she's saying the same thing to me about holding my grand kids. (right mom?) Jimi, being a Dr. will be a great achievement, but so would being a nurse and having the time to be a stay at home mom. The most rewarding job will always be a mother. Sami, hang in there. Make sure your husband can handle blood and needles. Because even though you think it's scary and tough for you to get a shot, it's a million times worse to watch your baby go through it.

May 14th, 1995 Alex Wesley was born.

March 13th 1997, Jimi Lee was born

June 18th 1999, Samantha Jean was born

July 22nd 2000, Trever James was born (this is actually a few days after he was born, we couldn't take pictures right at first)

After showing the pictures of me after having each of you, you better know I love you. Alex, Jimi, Sami, and Trever, you are the most important things, people, achievements, mistakes, endeavors, projects in my life. I live my life for your dad and you guys! I will always drop anything and everything for anything you will ever need. I may let you fall at times, but it will only be for your own good and it will break my heart more than yours. You'll never know the full capacity of your heart until you have kids of your own, don't rush it but please don't put it off either. The only other person who will feel your love and pain more than dad and I will be your Heavenly Father and you can trust in him and I pray you do. You all need to know that even though there may be days you don't believe it I love being your mom. I wouldn't change my life for anything, not even millions of dollars. I'll always be on your side and I'll always love you unconditionally. I'll help even when you make a mistake, I'll lift you when your down, and yank you down when your head gets too big. I'll be your number one fan! I love you guys!

The Best weekend EVER!

It must have been fate. Sami didn't have a games scheduled for Saturday, and somehow Jimi's got canceled. That meant I got to go with Jim to the youth Pioneer trek.

We take our 4wheel drive diesel expedition pulling the 2 horses straight up to the high country. The drive was super easy and beautiful. By the time we got there I was so relaxed. That night we stumbled upon a corral to keep the horses, it already had fresh water and plenty of room to run. Later the mountain night air was a little cool but we were warm and cozy sleeping in the spa up the hill. The next morning we had breakfast and headed out to saddle up the horses. We get this easily and quickly done. We hop on the horses, mine seemed a little upset. He did buck but I stayed on and handled it just fine. I did hop off once. Like Lane Frost used to, I just jumped up and landed on my feet. Jim and I spent the whole day riding up and down the trail with the horses, so close we could hold hands. We even stopped and took a little rest on a hillside full of wild flowers. It was truly amazing! Thank you for a perfect weekend Jim. I had an amazing time.


That's how I am trying to make it in my head. Now what really happened. I DID NOT want to go on this stupid thing. Jim really wanted to go so after our game got canceled he kinda roped me into going with him. I was rushed getting ready but we got out of here on time. Our expedition is not 4wheel drive, nor a diesel, nor does it have trailer breaks. Still we head straight up the side of the valley wall. After driving a few hours we realize they didn't mark the spot correctly and we had traveled about an hour out of our way. We start up another HUGE hill to get to camp. Everyone stopped on the road at a blind corner. We had to stop but the trailer kept pulling us down the hill. I was FREAKING out. Then we get off pavement. I'll just say this. I would have bet my life we wouldn't have made it up there in one piece, and if we did, surely not home too. Happily I was wrong. Once there we had to find the corrals to keep the horses in. They had no water. So we packed at least 20 gallons of water up a hill from a small creek. Back at the pioneer camp they had a really cool presentation, except it would have been MUCH better if I wasn't on the verge of hypothermia. We headed to bed, which was in back of our car. On a thin mattress, and on a hill. The temperature got down into the 20's. I would gripe more but all the kids slept outside or in tents. We get up and head to saddle up. That all went fine. Then I get on. Then my horse starts to buck. Not a small 10 second buck. I full fledged buck, kick, spin, run. that lasted at least a minute and a half. I was doing pretty good, but soon realized he wasn't going to stop so I started making a plan on how I was going to get off this crazy horse. I had already been on 30-40 seconds. (Jim said, I'm not making that up)1. don't go off the left side because it will blow out your shoulder. 2. when I go off the right side, tuck and roll. At that point he spun and I just didn't get my balance as quick as I would have liked and came off. I did tuck and I did roll. I caught the back of my left leg on the saddle horn and have some gnarly bruises to show for it. Next the horse continues bucking after I was thrown. He heads straight for a group of kids with their handcart, luckily not hitting them he came within a foot of my car, turned, jumped over a 5 foot metal post sticking out. Kept bucking hit the road and took off in a full sprint. To top it off this all happened in front of about 50 people. (my pride hurts worse than my bruises) Jim chased my horse down and since we were still responsible for walking the trail and helping out, he went. I sat in the car for 4 hours thinking "I NEVER even wanted to come!" We load up fairly quickly so we could attempt getting down the mountains slowly and easily. Again I was freaked out the whole way. Jim did a great job and really there were no worries. News traveled fast so by the next morning at church everyone knew. Just to make the point "I'm not thanking you Jim"



This is how I fell off. EXCEPT I tucked and rolled. This guy will have one heck of a headache.

My thoughts.

I can't stand ignorant people. I just can't even tolerate them. That doesn't mean you have to be brilliant, or heck even smart, for me to like you. To clarify this is the definition for ignorant.

Ignorant: noun
The condition of being uninformed or uneducated. Lacking knowledge or information.

Except I don't really mind if people lack knowledge or are just uninformed. There are things I lack knowledge in, and I don't feel like everyone has to be a college graduate for me to want to be their friend. So to make it more clear I hate, yes a strong word, willful ignorance. Definition.

Willful ignorance: (unaccountable)
A bad faith decision to avoid becoming informed about something so as to avoid having to make undesirable decisions that such information might prompt. It may also be shown as for a person to have no clue in a decision but still goes ahead in their decision.

I'm sure everyone deals with ignorance, even willful ignorance, but I got kicked in the gut with it the other day. A quick, vague explanation so years down the road I can remember WHY I started the battle that I'm taking on.

I believe a school psychologist would have to have some kind of degree, credential maybe compassion and be educated in her field? I guess not. I was told that people with a mental illness (depression, anxiety, bipolar) are, ready, MENTALLY DISTURBED! Of course that doesn't sit well with me. When I hear mentally disturbed I picture a serial killed cutting his victim into tiny pieces. I was also informed that bipolar is a brand new illness that hasn't really been studied yet. Really? I mean does this woman live under a rock? I don't expect the average person to be an expert on mental illness, or even know much at all about it. I do absolutely expect a psychologist that works every day with children to know at least a minimal amount. It is unacceptable to me that she is willfully ignorant! She knew of my bipolar and continued to tell me the myths she believed to be true. She had no desire to ask any questions or clarify what she didn't understand and even when our encounter was over I don't believe she had any interest in educating herself about it. Because in her words "mental illness doesn't really affect our valley, it's just too rare and we don't know how to handle those type of children so we would have to ship them somewhere else." At that point it took a ton of self restraint to not show her mentally disturbed! I haven't been an unashamed advocate for mental illness for very long, but I DO know that mental illness in one form or another effects over 25% of adolescents.

I ended my conversation with her by letting her know that I would be in close contact with her often, and that until she could educate her ignorant self on mental illness that I would also need to be in close contact with her supervisors and the district for the safety of our children in this valley.

I'm appalled that this is what Kern high school district would hire for our school psychologist that is supposed to have the best interest of the kids in mind. Looks like I have my work cut out for me because I will FORCE education on all mental illnesses onto her until I can trust the kids she oversees will be protected and given the education they deserve.

The vacation continues...

We left Vegas on Wednesday, no rush. We headed toward Flagstaff Arizona. The drive wouldn't have been so bad except that they are doing road work for about 20 miles near the Hoover Dam and it's only 2 lane road. We didn't stop long to see the dam, but Flat Stanley got out to get his picture taken.

We got to Flagstaff and immediately loved it. We even talked about looking into jobs there. We relaxed that night and when we woke the next morning there was about a foot and a half of snow on our car. I know I've mentioned I HATE SNOW! It melted off pretty quick so we headed up to the Grand Canyon. I went when I was a kid but the rest of my family had never seen it. It really is beautiful but I didn't realize that there is no railing anywhere, and I don't have boring kids. My kids think it's fun to pretend to push the other one over, they didn't realize why this just wasn't funny! My kids also didn't realize that the Grand Canyon is a place to reflect on the beauty and splendor. They ran around laughing and joking like wild banshees. I guess I rather have them like that then some of the boring kids we saw.

Sami made sure we got the picture quick!

Sadly this is the best pictures of my kids that I could get. They're all sticking their tongues out in the rest of them. BRATS!

This is so Sami!

The only thing she would climb the Grand Canyon for.

My boys being dorks. They really play it up when the camera comes out.

Alex, don't jump!

There was this overlook at one point and when we first got there there wasn't too many people there. We started taking pictures, not normal scenery pictures but pictures that made it look like we had fallen off. People started gathering around, we tried to be inconspicuous, but it didn't work. We were all giggling and couldn't stop.

Always a HAM BONE!

We are all surprised he didn't just drop her... I would have.

We drove up a back way to the Grand Canyon. They have a lot of Elk up there and we saw tracks, but no Elk. These were the railroad tracks for the train that goes through the canyon.

We all had a really great time. I am glad that I'm not afraid of heights, and glad that most of my kids are. Everyone needs to see the Grand Canyon at least once and I'm glad I didn't take my kids when they were younger. This family with little kids came up behind us and one of their young boys, probably 4, came flying by me and I wasn't too far from the edge. Mommy mode kicked in and I grabbed for an arm and yelled STOP! I think I scared him, I felt dumb because I don't think he would have fallen off, but the parents were still glad I stopped him. A few memories of this leg of the trip.

1. The highways in Arizona are ridiculous, they have 4 different numbers for one highway. Jim missed a turn and went to turn around. A man rolled down his window and asked Jim "do you know this is a one way street?" Jim felt stupid. We all laughed until we almost cried.

2. Arizona people HATE California people. We were treated very badly, people cutting us off and not letting us over. Then when we were leaving and getting gas, I ran in to get a drink and the guy at the counter said "now get out of here" when I was done.

3. There are no gas stations up by the Grand Canyon. (where we were anyways) We had to back track about 5 miles because we realized we probably would be cutting it close on gas if we didn't.

4. IHOP has cheesecake pancakes. mmmmm

5. The iphone maps are the coolest greatest thing ever ever ever ever. We found our way everywhere with it.

Vacation Day One and Two, Vegas Baby!

Monday morning, way too early for some of my family, we headed to Vegas. The entire day, well trip, we heard "Vegas baby!" We got there about 2:00, we would have been there a lot earlier but we had to shop for Jimi a bathing suit for 2 hours. Jim LOVED that. (add lots of sarcasm)
We got to Vegas and Jim and I went out to buy show tickets. We got tickets for Blue Man Group for that night. We rushed and ate dinner then headed to the show. It was really amazing, we loved it. The next night we went and say The V Show, ultimate variety show. We didn't think we were going to love it at first but we were wrong. It was really cool. We ate dinner at Pampas in Planet Hollywood, Alex was in Heaven. They had all you can eat meat, but they brought it around to your table and cut it fresh for you. We ate shrimp, prawns, salmon, cod, tri-tip, prime rib, smoked ham, and my very favorite the filet Mignon. We stayed at the MGM Grand, with the lions. The kids didn't believe they had real lions in the hotel, until we saw them. They have an awesome pool that's only 3 feet deep. So the kids played and Jim and I laid in the sun. We had a slight sunburn but it was 86 degrees and we loved it!

We wore our kids out running all over Vegas, when they crashed, they crashed.

Yes, Alex is under the table. I don't know why. Maybe its because it makes him feel like home like his bunk bed.

Most memorable moments from Vegas.

1. Watching the Treasure Island show with the ships and watching the pirates dance on top of the sail. Sami freaking out that they were going to fall. She said "I can't even watch, they're going to fall". Then during the V show they had a drummer that was hanging from the wall playing drums and Sami freaking out again that he was going to fall, she stressed the whole show. I would look over at her and she would watch the drummer and flinch when he would swing out.

2. We were in the elevator and Jimi says "why do they play elevator music in here?" she's our smart one.

3. Vegas Baby!

4. This guy yelling "Smoke week, do pot... blah blah blah..." while we were walking back from a show. Jim telling him to shut up because of the kids (not his exact words, but it wasn't much worse than that) Then him and his friends following us, while Jim gets madder and madder. When Jim gets really mad he goes silent, it scares me. They guys friends thought the guy was stupid too. We all stopped at a light, and after running his mouth for 3 blocks, he was standing shoulder to shoulder with Jim, well his shoulder to Jims chest. He shut up, but started back again when we went the opposite way on the light. It only took one more look from Jim for him to shut up for good. The kids were scared, but I wasn't worried.

5. The Beligio water show.

6. The billboard of a woman's cute butt that was highly visable from our room. Alex was fine with it.

7. The fact that it was Spring Break so there were parties in the hallway most of the night, besides a bunch of women who had barely any cloths on stumbling drunk. I think it was a good lesson for my kids. There is NOTHING attractive about that.